Wednesday, November 23, 2011

What's next?

There may be some gaps here on the blog, as it has shaken down to one person (who knew waking up would change your priorities?) and her priorities are in daily flux.

Some great one liners I'd like to share.
"Yesterday's enlightenment is today's mistake."
This does not mean it was wrong at the time, but that what is right for today is to not hang onto yesterday's answer, or experience.
I can't tell you how lame that now feels, clutching at little nuggets like they are the mother lode. Pinning down flowing aliveness as a nice, static, defensible belief.  I get less certain every day, as it gets in the way of the seriously amazing opening to what is constantly here.
When my friends experience today as peaceful, boring, or simply lose their shit, I am now very respectful of today's enlightenment in them.
Because of the next one liner:
"You can't script your own enlightenment."
Well, crap. I thought there would be an element of control at last.
I could not actually control, drive, or script my life before waking up. The self assumed authorship and do-ership over everything that happened, and was miserably trying to lay these expectations over life.  For instance, my own body would not and will not accept a healthy diet plan.
Cake totally negates good intentions.  Life is definitely on cake's side.
Plans involving others are even more problematic. But the script used to go 'right' just often enough to keep me trying again. Intermittent reinforcement, anyone?
If self was not able to script life before waking up, believe me, no one is doing it after you realize the self is illusion.
This sounds pretty simple. Like most simple thing,s it goes very deep and is damn hard to keep in focus.
We are addicted to magical thinking. Like kids, looking out a window at a starry night and tossing trees and hoping for magical shit to happen to them. Disney stuff. We get bored with reality. Is this stunning beauty and complexity all there is? Pfft?
I get bored! and then the self that is bored looks at an unscripted world and there is more magic there than I can possibly take in. I mean, I'm not going around all moony and lost and blissed out. Just kid of cracked open to the "wow" position.
Of course, that could change tomorrow.
This shit will change everything.

Love, Elizabeth