Thursday, February 23, 2012

A massive dose of I don't care.

I do not give a shit.
In the middle of a rant or a right snit, it all breaks down and there is nothing to care about.
Bit disconcerting.
Er, didn't I used to be wildly passionate?
Endlessly energetic in the pursuit of truth, knowledge, and the right point of view?
When did all this become something I no longer cared about?

A friend (thank you, Alexander) gave me a new word this week:
MY-nification is the process of associating everything in the world with a central point called 'I'. It all belongs to a me. It's a point of view. Unique to a me.
Currently, nothing belongs to a me.
Although there are a couple of dogs and a nice man who seem to be around a lot of the time :-)
This is ridiculous.
Surely a rational, grown, and educated human can hold an opinion?
Be described by an adherence to morals, principles, and ideas?
Have a nice spiritual programme and grow a little teary describing it's benefits?
OK, guilty on the last bit. This not caring IS the benefit.

No one really notices that I don't care. They still get food and conversation and hugs and I show up for the social conventions dressed like a nice, rational, grown-up human.
They may not notice that my requirement that they care about what I care about, is no longer in effect.
They may never know how little it concerns me that they are how they are.
Caring is a very small word. I'm both indifferent to you and enchanted by you. Is there a word for that?

Much love.















Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Diego Stargazer: Guest blogger

I am a big fan of Diego's writing, but even more enamored of his clarity.
This is a recent post of his. I hope you enjoy.


The Day I Left For Good

standing attentively listening
a thousand eyes open to the suffering of the world;
but that’s not how I woke up.
Hundreds of hours of energy healing practices
extending the sense of touch
through chakras, organs and solid objects;
that’s not how I woke up.
Many thousands of mantras
the speech of the Buddhas
chanted diligently, dutifully, determined;
but that’s not how I woke up.
Fasting regularly to develop discipline
and self control
and good health
patience too;
but that’s not how I woke up.
Reading hundreds of books
by authors with unpronounceable names
who made everyday experience sound exotic;
that’s definitely not how I woke up.
Attending empowerments
rituals, services
and blessings
could not have had
less to do
with how I woke up.
Bowing three times
before pictures of holy people
burning incense
or ringing bells;
that really had no part in how I woke up.
There is just one thing
that had any part to play
in how I woke up:
I left.
I left here for good.
I never did wake up.
Waking up just got tired
of following the I around.
Enough of this farce !
Said the awakeawarenothing
That had never been anywhere else
What a frabjous day !
That memorable day
the day I left for good.