I’m 62 (or there abouts)—that qualifies me as a geezer, no doubt. In my 20’s, after more than several attempts at happiness through creating a lifestyle that matched my picture of happiness (land, garden, goats, boyfriend, no-boyfriend, you get the picture), I stumbled upon the idea of happiness through psycho-spiritual growth—i.e. self-improvement. Thus began decades of miserable seeking. I tried most everything that came across my path: all sorts of new age extravaganzas in the early years, then 12 Step programs (very helpful for living), various meditation practices, Sufism, Advaita, all of which point to “relief from the bondage of self”.I knew all the words—said them often (often to others)—“you aren’t who you think you are”, no-self, only oneness, Unity, False Sense of Authorship…the intellectual understanding was present, but I never really experienced freedom from the sense of “me”. The “me” was still (subtly & secretly) expecting a big experience of Silence, or Unity (that “me” experienced & derived mystical benefit from), or at least something different from the ongoing unfolding of life.