Friday, August 19, 2011
I remember way back, with Osho, feeling like one of the dust mice of the community. Beauties of all races and ages and genders swanned about, radiant with bliss, sparkling with good health and hormones, wearing robes in the latest style. Most beautiful ashrams, ever. I was lucky to have had the experience when I was young and had some time to burn.
But I've tired of the spiritual beauties as I get older. In America at least, spirituality gets more and more monetized and commercialized and will soon be trading on the stock exchange. Money for vapourware, as it were. Little overhead, and that paid by donation.
I've spent large sums in lean times, getting myself to the latest wisdom master or mistress, and it was money well spent. I developed a sense of who was offering something I could use, and a healthy scepticism.
Near the end of searching, I attended a few events with a pragmatic, non-seeking husband in tow. Man clearly loves me.
Unexpectedly, he enjoyed critiquing it all, from initial marketing brochure to rented churches. He counted the house, running what were undoubtedly accurate totals on the take, and commented on volunteer organization. He'd been regional director of a national non-profit for decades.
We both loved spiritual people watching. Rich, poor, devotees, sceptics. All dressed to reflect a role. Appropriate facial expression, loud greeting of in-groups, sexual positioning, all clearly indicated that self presentation and spiritual search were closely linked.
Sadly funny and wholly self-serving, in the most literal way.
And I was kind of tired of it. There, but no longer really participating.
I guess if you've been reading these blogs you have figured out that I (and we) got enlightened (big word, tiny explosive realization) on the internet.
Disembodied teachers, writing, defining concepts, trying concepts on reality, coming back to the computer, getting immediate feedback and direction, being frustrated, being angry, being confused, working as hard and honestly as possible and finally seeing that the whole idea of self was as fabricated as the characters I'd been playing out on the spiritual stages.
The guy who was mainly responsible for this is about 35 years younger than I, which is, coincidently, about as long as I've been seeking. Makes me laugh. But who cares who gets you through the Gate, as long as you get through?
So, unless you are just out there socializing and looking for another spiritual and sexual conquest, you might want to broaden your search criteria.
Weirdly, this last search was free. Who knew?