Sunday, August 21, 2011

Finding Nemo

From Kali:

 'Letting it be so.'
What you are about to read is a story, just a story...
Some people bust through the “Gateless Gate”.
Some of us take a peek, perhaps more than once, before we realize what is
happening.
Still falling prey to the delusions of the mind, believing the
content of our thoughts.
I had been with Osho since the late 70’s. Years of a mixture of delusion,
but knowing that I was in the presence of truth.
Now I can see that it was about 10 years ago, the first time I saw it. I saw
liberation.
It was a time in my life when I was going to Sedona, Arizona, a lot.
It was a time when a group of people were helping others realize what
Osho’s work and words were all about.        
In this particular group, the focus was to help us see how we get
identified with a false center. At that time I still thought that there was such
a thing as a true center.
But anyhow, the beauty of seeing what you are not, created a shift in
perception like I never had before.  And the words 'Let it be so' came into
my life with a wonderful impact.
I put the jewel in my pocket, and went on with life, and some illusions
continued . But the self was (like Adya would say) mortally wounded.
When the book of The Power of Now came out. I saw my hand go directly
to it in a bookstore, even before I read the cover.
I opened it, and recognized that I was in the presence of truth, once again.
I traveled to go see Eckhart in person, but I didn’t know what else I could
do.
For years identities started to fall apart. New ones were created.
Dark spaces  with a lot of confusion would come along.

I focused on work and sports training.  Body movement had always been
a source of joy for me. As a young girl with dancing, and as an older adult with
endurance sports, mostly running. That became my meditation.
It was only about 3 years ago that grace came, through my friend Iz when
she mentioned Adyashanti.
From the very beginning it set me on fire.
The first thing that happened with Adya’s words was that all effort just
stopped.
Everything started to fall apart much quicker, specially after I started to
listen to Jed Mckenna’s books.
I don’t know exactly what was it about him, but illusion after illusion started
to be seen for what it was. I could not sleep for days, I could not stop
listening to what he had to say.
Around that time I noticed that the suffering disappeared.
All projects for self improvement fell apart as I had no more interest. Not
even my opinions were relevant.
But the most valuable tool that I got from Jed was the ability to “gain
altitude”.
Without altitude the density of the stories of the mind and the density of the
emotions were drowning any light of having seen reality.
Every time I heard Adya talk about the phenomena of “I got it, I lost it”, I
would think “idiots, who does that -- see and then get deluded again?"
When I heard of Ruthless Truth, it got my attention.
Here it was, dialogue after dialogue, in which I could see that I had seen
and turned away from the only important truth. There is no me!
The center does not exist, it never existed!
The story of the I searching and finding was just that -- thoughts that had
created the illusion of a recipient of all those experiences.
Life was and is just running it’s course with no me in it.
And this last seeing was with the help all the way from Australia, with a
beautiful man name Nemo.
So I guess you can say that life went from finding Osho, to finding Nemo.
                                                                   

2 comments:

  1. Thanks Kali. I got feedback on that from someone who wanted to know what "getting altitude meant". What did it mean to you?

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  2. Altitude is when you view what is happening here as if it's happening to someone else.
    Is the beginning to seeing that the actor is not the role.
    Is when Michael Keaton realizes "Darn, I am not really Batman" ;-)
    Is a way that helps you see (in Jed's words) "that the you that you think you are is not you"
    For me it became something that would spontaneously happen just by letting the mind say "let's visit and see what is happening with Kali"
    This space allows everything to be as it is, and opens up the space to see that this is just what is happening and no one is the experiencer...

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